I feel like I'm wired back to front, and things that I have poured the most heart into, that should have turned out really well, instead went horribly bad.

How do I rewire myself?

Hi,

Re-read your post, how do you feel as you read it? Do you remember the first time you felt that same way? If you don't, guess, and trust that guess and start tapping. Did these events/memories/situations lead to the development of beliefs about you, others and life? Tap on the charge that these beliefs hold, they could be: "there's something wrong with me", "nothing ever works out for me" and so on.Rate their truth, from 0 to 10, 10 being true and 0 being false and see if that number/truth comes down as you tap and release them.

Hope this is useful,

Noreen.

I know there was something that suddenly sprang into my consciousness a few years ago. It happened when I was about 9 or 10, and it dawned on me that because of that incident, I had effectively formed a rule for myself, that whenever I do well, especially when I go out of my way to do really well, all I deserve is a kick in the teeth, while someone else gets my reward.

That's certainly what seems to keep happening. I am by now reluctant to work on anything else 'cos I'm tired of the destructive backlash.

I have used NLP on the situation and managed to reduce some of the emotion connected with the incident. It's the actual belief that needs changing.

I've been to EFT practitioners who just don't seem interested in applying EFT - they would rather use NLP or CBT or talk therapy (!), so it seems like the belief holds me back from getting effective help either. After all, my mother's response at the time was an angry "oh, don't be so stupid!" - hence the frequent thought that "I'm a bad and stupid person" and "it's only me, a person of no importance whatsoever".

Can I undo that sort of thing on my own?

Yes, you can, you've already done a lot of the groundwork. This vow/promise you made at 9/10, how does it serve you? That might sound like a strange question but does it protect you in any way?

Say out loud:

1. Whenever I do well, especially when I go out of my way to do really well, all I deserve is a kick in the teeth, while someone else gets my reward

2. I'm a bad and stupid person

3. It's only me, a person of no importance whatsoever

Rate each one on a scale of 0 to 10, 10 being true and 0 being false, how do you feel when you say them, where do you feel it? Use these answers in your tapping.

Picture your mother saying "oh, don't be so stupid", how does it make you feel? you could picture her in chair facing you and you saying all that you want to say in response, or you could get a photo of her and tell her exactly how that made you feel when she said that. Are there other events where you felt this way with your mother?

Write down every single event that supports this vow and beliefs and start tapping on each one. You could start with the incident you mentioned in your post when you were 9. Be specific and treat all the aspects.

Try also working around the theme of deserving and feeling safe enough to do well and be your best and just be you. If you say:

I deserve the best life has to offer

I deserve the best just for being who I am

How true are they? Do you hear any objections, what are they? Tap on any. Say:

I feel safe enough to do well

It's safe to be me

Again, tap on anything that comes up.

Noreen.