Hello ,

 Kindly help me, please.

I have come across EFT for the past two years. I can see the changes happening but I am facing a lot more hurdles and obstacles in my life. I shall be grateful if you could kindly help me to find out my blocks or the reasons so that I may tap rightly.

 I think I am suffering of being surrounded by people who have been using me for some time, and I always thought that my aim in life is to help others whenever one can. But Now I am realising that the first person to care for should have always been me... In the same breadth, I invested myself so much in my marriage but then gradually I realised that the man I loved has become someone who is simply using me, without love. I stayed in the wedding, last year when my father passed away he announced a separation. I did not argue. I have no child after 5 years of marriage. He blames me for the breakdown of the relationship.  I returned to my parent's place. I have to launch my private business and I told my mother that I would like to take the business of my father which is of no interest to any of my other siblings. My mother, whom I have always given a very important place in my life, such that I feel indebted to all her efforts in bringing me up and giving me uni education ( I come from a modest to poor background), is now refusing stubbornly when she knows that the business is my only way of support and survival...

I am not getting support from anyone of my family as they all say she is old so can;t say anything to her. I feel that my mother too used me just like the others, ...

I can't understand the blocks in my life and why?? I am a very helpful person, always very grateful. I have been doing reiki so I take myself to be on the healing path but healing from what??

Why am I struggling to get love in life? from my parents, my brothers and sister, my husband...??? And now I will soon be having no money as I cannot launch my job... I also gave a lot of money as loan to my brother in law... He is not willing to reimburse anymore...

Kindly help - any tips advice or suggestions are most welcome. I am on the brink of collapsing and can't stop feeling miserable by the realisation of 'bad faith of all my relatives'. Am I right?? Or I am wrong? Should I always suffer and wait for people to give me some love and care...

Thanks

Debbie

Debbies:

I can't understand the blocks in my life and why?? I am a very helpful person, always very grateful. I have been doing reiki so I take myself to be on the healing path but healing from what?? Why am I struggling to get love in life? from my parents, my brothers and sister, my husband...??? 

 Hi Debbie,

What's your answer as to what you're healing from? If you don't know, guess and trust your answer.

Try tapping on:

Even though I feel people have been using me and that makes me feel ...I love and accept myself

Even though my aim in life has been to help others wherever I can, I accept myself 

Even though the first person to care for should have been me but it wasn't I accept that I did the best that I could at the time, I now choose to do it differently

Even though I invested myself so much in my marriage but then gradually I realised that the man I loved has become someone who is simply using me, without love, I accepthow I feel about that

Even though I feel like a victim, I love and accept myself

Even though I just don't know what to do, everything feels like a struggle, I accept how I feel

Even though I've always struggled for love outside of myself, I choose to love and accept myself completely regardless of what others do

Even though I don't know wheher I'm right or wrong, maybe it doesn't matter, I can still listen to how I feel and come to some sort of a resolution and I'm doing the best I can for now

All the best

Noreen.

 Dear Noreen,

 Many thanks for your tips. I will start by your suggestions and will do that on a daily basis.  I am really on the verge of collapse for I am now 37 and it is only now that since a young age I had been so much used by each and everyone in my family... It seems to me that i had a veil in front of my eyes to see the reality. But at times I console myself by saying that I have been nevertheless a good person always willling to give and help others...

 I will let you know how I am getting on.

Kind regards

 Debbie

Hi,

While it may work for you to look for blocks and eliminate them, perhaps what we are looking at is something different. What I mean is that it seems that you are taking on responsibilities that don't bring you joy. 

If you were to look at this situation like a maze, the way you would work your way out is to relax as much as you can. Let it be okay to feel the emotions you do. Those emotions are simply responses to the thoughts you are thinking. They are perfect.

Now, look at each of your tasks and projects. It it make you feel better than you feel right now to do them, then do it. If it feels worse, don't.

You are not responsible for anyone but you. Not your mother, not your siblings, no one. They are all creating their own experiences. Even if you wanted to, you cannot change enough to fill what is missing for them.

Does it feel better or not? Start right here right now. Does it feel better or not?  

Hi Debbie,

As to what advice you take from what is said, and what I will just add this, that what ever tapping you do on yourself, do it from a state or feeling of gratitude, and what you too could do is see more of this I a saying, the next day tap on yourself from a state of forgiveness, some times for me the conscious mind set that I choose to be in, this may to some degree determine what and how much good work I get from a tapping session on myself. Some research has shown that many that choose for 30 days to live each dau in a state or sense of gratitude, this changes much of their life in many ways.

Harry

Harry, that is so true.  I also find that tapping whilst appreciating what I have (saying thanks for my many blessings) is great.

While it may work for you to look for blocks and eliminate them, perhaps what we are looking at is something different. What I mean is that it seems that you are taking on responsibilities that don't bring you joy

Hello Chip and all my friends,

First of all, my good wishes to all of you for the New year 2011. I hope that the year will brings us all loads of love, prosperity and joy.

 I have been tapping on my issues as suggested. None of my personal plans moved ahead and they remain status quo. I am wondering or rather accepting as suggested that my plans may not have to happen that is all.

In addition, Chip, yes you say that my responsibilities don't bring me joy- well it is not that I have not been happy with what I have undertaken as responsibilities and many times the situation of life did not permit me to say no to anyone so far...

May be I am a gullible person who simply believes that if I can help then why not... after all we are family. The same goes with my husband. But it is only now that I realise too that my husband did not want to be with me, soon after some six months after our wedding... I have only come t know this now and it is very hearbeaking.

However good intentioned I have been I fail to understand all the misery I am going thru. It proves difficult for me to see if i am doing the right thing in my life or wrong. I do feel at a loss on many occasions.

Any of your advice or suggestions will be most welcome.

 Thanks

Debbie

Hi Debbie,

I would work on all those events in childhood when you felt or were used.  Finish tapping them all to zero, otherwise you may find it difficult to move further in the now.

Wishing you a good and peaceful New Year

Hi Debbie,

Say, out loud:

I feel like a victim

I am a victim

Which feels more true? What evidence do you have? Tapping around the big themes/patterns in our life that keep repeating when we don't know where to start and feel at a loss, can really help. You can also tap on the theme of responsibility (or blame?), for eg:

I am (not) responsible for how I feel

I am (not) responsible for my life

Others are to blame for my life going wrong

I am to blame for ...

Hope this helps

Noreen.

Hi Debbie,

How are you getting on with the tapping?