Hello everyone!

Well my mum and myself have two cats, they are 4 years old now and still very scared, especially one of them. One has gotten really big by the way, she eats a lot while the other is very thin, they have rows once in a while and I think it's because the bigger one eats the part of the small one but not sure.

Anyway my point is that the bigger one is weird, since we got her, she's been so scared, it's quite hard or impossible to stroke her, when we take her (usually by surprise as she'll never let us take her) she screams like we're torturing her and when she's in the wardrobe and we want to stroke her she's so scared and sometimes even bites. And then she does this thing with her mouth like swallowing rapidly, you can clearly see she's traumatized and I don't get it because of course we have never been violent or anything and the family we got her from seemed really caring so I dont understand why she's behaving like this? The other one (the small one) is not so scared in that she loves to come on my bed and I stroke her a lot but she's very scared of the outside world or little things like if she's walking by me and I suddenly move my feet, she'll jump out of her skin, it's like she's constantly on her guards. She even had an epilepsy attack once when I took her to the vet, she was so anxious. Anyway so my qestion is, would a flower bach would help the bigger one to be more confident? I mean she often goes to my mum and lets her stroke her but she's never at ease, you can see she's scared. She wants to be stroked but is dead scared! I have tried tapping but it didnt work much, maybe I should try harder.. I have tried the bethleem star flower, it's a flower for traumas etc, maybe I should go on with it?

any tips?

have all a lovely evening!

carox

Hi again caroline.

I have a chart of the points for cats if you want to email me off line, you may be able to use it surrogately on her issues?

Also I bought some Remedy from a colleague  of an EFt'er for a wild abandoned cat we housed and kept.

It is in Ilkley , UK..I am sure I can find out the contact again via a fellow EFTer .

He sells a range of Remdies, this one we felt worked for  our cat..

He is a lovely guy & I talked to him about what I thought were our cats' issues.

I asked what would be helpful for ' Abandonment' and he recommended one to give her.

I am not sure if he sells them individually as I was on a course where I saw them

Let me know what you think

Warmest wishes

Marie

 We have a once - feral cat.  We were able to give her a surrogate balance by having another person take on her role.  The cat was in the room, hiding under the bed.  The balance we gave her was to be able to accept pets.   Three days later we were able to pet her and now she is a pet suck.  

Try putting the food for the smaller cat up higher.  My guess is the bigger cat cannot jump as high as the smaller one.

Mildred

 thank you for your replies! I feel it's getting better and better, the big one is always after my mum but is still scared of me.. oh well we'll see how it goes!

Hi Carox,

Ok, I am looking at what you are asking as opportunity for testing and possible learning for myself, but may be you want to give this a try, go with in yourself and do surrogate tapping on yourself for the cat. However; I at first wanted to ask you permission to do this myself, but it may be best that you give your self this chance if this is what you want. But  I be glad to do surrogate tapping on your cat ok?

Take Care,

Harry

Hi Mildre,

Sorry, I only read your post on the matter of surrogating work on the cat after I done my post.

Sorry About That,

Harry

 Carox,

I always recommend for the people to tap on their negative emotions on what seems to be an "animal issue". If our relationship with our pets is not at all like we hoped it would be - we do experience a wide range of negative emotions. Be it sadness, frustration, anger, guilt etc - I see them as normal emotional responses to a challenge our pets present for us. Sometimes our expectations are just not realistic and place an unfair load on our animals. So, for you and your mum: tap on your emotions first. You could use the Choices Method to tap in more patience for example, or a greater ability to accept the cats just the way they are.

I would not make any attempts to stroke the bigger cat at all. Like you explained, she shows you a very, very strong fear based reaction every time to force petting on her. Despite your best intentions, you inadvertently, yet powerfully reinforce her view of humans as scary and untrustworthy (since you do ambush her in order to pet her).  It is actually classical conditioning going the wrong direction.  Petting does become something of a nightmare for her and each episode strengthens her negative view of humans. I know it is hard, but let her come to you. Give her all the time and space she needs, assist her by tapping surrogately on her emotions. If and when she comes and asks for some stroking: do so in TINY increments. You want to end it before she feels overwhelmed again. One or two brief strokes, perhaps with just one finger and let her be. 

Allow both of them to discover the joy of close contact with humans, to enjoy the trust and the physical sensations. But also allow them to be who they are. Not all cats love petting and stroking. My cat always wants to be close by, but she is doesn't care for petting, stroking or sitting in my lap. She is not afraid, she just doesn't like it. It was a bit of a challenge for me to let go of what I wanted from her and allowed her to be my "untouchable cat"

I would also use the Choices Method for the cats, adding "calm and confident no matter what" as the positive choice. Or just standard EFT:

even though I feel this horrible panic when my humans sneak up on me and grab me to stroke me, I am a great cat.

even though I can't think straight and use all my strength to escape and even bite them, I am really a very good cat.

I might tap on the bigger cat's weight and eating issues as well. 

Once you start tapping, more thoughts will come to you. You can build your statements around the behavior you observe and you can follow your inner voice. Chances are you will need to tap daily for a while, sometimes it can take weeks to really see a change. And sometimes change happens very quickly. Just be careful about "trying harder". This is not about putting pressure on you or your cats, it is about a change in their perception about the world they live in. Try not to hold on to fixed ideas about how cats should be, be open to whatever they choose to be. We are not that much different: if somebody tries to change us into something we are not, we don't appreciate those efforts.

I don't see any reason why you would need to decide between flower remedies and EFT. You can use both. The only disadvantage would be that you would not know for sure what actually worked.

Good Luck!

Gitta

 Thank you both for your message!

Yes Harry, of course you can tap for my cat:-)

Well she'sa bit better I guess, she is not that fural as she is always after my mum and ends up every night by her side and lets her stroke her but she has to come, we cant stroke her when we want to, she's very scared and screams if we manage to fetch her. So yes I should let her come to me and accept that, you're right. She only comes to me when she's on heat weardly enough!, she sits on my bed then.

caroline.

Hi Caroline,

Thanks for giving me permission to tap by distance on your cat, the surrogate work was done about 8:30AM Hawaiian time. I will do a follow up tapping session on her today.

 Harry

 Thanks for your message

I've try to apply this to my own cat, it has shown some apparent improvement,